Why You Can’t Skip the Inner Child Work & What To Do About It
Do you ever feel like no matter how much effort you put into healing, you’re still stuck? 😤
Maybe you’ve tried mindfulness, self-care, or even therapy, but something still feels missing.
Here’s the thing: if you’ve been skipping the inner child work, this might be why.
Perhaps you think, “Why look back? What’s done is done”...
….Or maybe the idea feels too scary or overwhelming.
You might even believe your childhood doesn’t matter anymore.
But avoiding this essential piece of the puzzle could be keeping you stuck in survival mode, battling patterns and wounds you don’t even realize are there.
Here’s the good news: addressing your inner child doesn’t have to be scary. ♥️
In this post, I’ll explain why this work is so important, how it impacts your present, AND how you can start gently reconnecting with the younger version of yourself for deeper healing.
Ready? Let’s jump in.
Here’s what I’m covering… (you can click on any link to jump to that section.)
Why Avoiding Inner Child Work Is Keeping You Stuck
What To Do Instead: 4 Strategies for Healing Your Inner Child
Why Avoiding Inner Child Work Is Keeping You Stuck
Skipping the inner child work might feel like an easy choice in the moment, but it can keep you trapped in cycles that are hard to break.
(I speak from experience. I once rolled my eyes at inner child healing. And guess what? Working with my inner child has helped to set me free in so many ways.👼🪽)
Here’s why avoiding it can keep you stuck….
⛔ Unresolved Patterns
Your childhood experiences shape how you see the world, yourself, and others.
If you’re not addressing wounds or unmet needs from that time, you might unconsciously repeat survival-driven patterns—like people-pleasing, overachieving, or avoiding vulnerability. 🙋🏻♀️ 🙋🏻♀️ 🙋🏻♀️
These behaviors are your mind’s way of keeping you safe based on past experiences, but they often lead to feelings of frustration and confusion because they contradict your current goals.
For example, you might notice yourself saying yes to things you don’t actually want to do because, as a child, saying no led to rejection or punishment. Without recognizing where these tendencies originate, it can be nearly impossible to break the cycle.
⛔ Dysregulated Nervous System
Early experiences, especially overwhelming or invalidating ones, impact your nervous system deeply.
If you experienced chronic stress, neglect, or fear as a child, your nervous system may have adapted by staying in a state of high alert. This means your body might constantly operate in fight, flight, freeze, or fawn mode—even when there’s no immediate threat.
This can feel like…
🌡️ Difficulty relaxing or feeling safe, even in calm environments.
🌡️ A tendency to overreact to small stressors.
🌡️ Physical symptoms like tension, headaches, or a racing heart.
By avoiding inner child work, you miss the opportunity to recalibrate your nervous system, leaving you in a cycle of chronic dysregulation.
Healing begins when you recognize these patterns and start teaching your body that it’s safe to relax and trust.
⛔ Blocks to Self-Connection
When you avoid your inner child, you’re ignoring parts of yourself that feel unseen, unheard, or unloved.
This creates a kind of internal dissonance—as though parts of you are locked away, waiting to be acknowledged and integrated.
This can look like…
🥹Struggling to trust yourself or make decisions.
🥹Feeling disconnected from your emotions or intuition.
🥹Experiencing recurring shame, guilt, or self-doubt.
Inner child work allows you to meet these hidden parts of yourself with compassion.
Instead of battling yourself, you learn to work with your inner child’s needs, creating a sense of harmony and wholeness.
⛔ Perpetuating Relationship Struggles
Unaddressed inner child wounds often play out in relationships.
For instance, if you grew up feeling unworthy of love, you might unconsciously choose partners who reinforce that belief. Alternatively, you might have difficulty setting boundaries because your inner child equates boundaries with rejection or loss.
By avoiding inner child work, these patterns persist, creating tension and dissatisfaction in your relationships. 💔
Addressing your inner child helps you build healthier connections by understanding and healing the roots of these behaviors.
These patterns and blocks are often invisible, but they show up in the form of emotional overwhelm, self-sabotage, or struggles in relationships and personal growth.
Join Anchored in Awe—my email series for deep thinkers and sensitive souls. You’ll receive honest reflections, practical tools, and gentle support for your healing journey. Sign up here.
What To Do Instead: 4 Strategies for Healing Your Inner Child
Healing your inner child doesn’t mean staying stuck in the past—it means understanding and nurturing the parts of you that need attention so you can move forward with clarity and confidence.
Here are some simple ways to start…
🟢 Release Tension and Reconnect With Your Body
Childhood wounds often leave imprints on the body, creating tension, stress, or physical discomfort. Healing involves working with your body to release these stored emotions.
🧘🏻♀️ Somatic Practices: Use grounding techniques like pressing your feet into the floor or practicing deep belly breathing to calm your nervous system. Pair this with visualizations of grounding energy traveling through your body.
🧘🏻♀️ Movement Therapy: Dance, stretch, or engage in intuitive movement to help your body process emotions. Don’t overthink the movements; allow your body to guide you.
🧘🏻♀️ Body Awareness: Tune into physical sensations. Notice areas of tension or discomfort and ask, “What is this sensation trying to tell me? How can I support it?” Gentle touch, like placing your hand on your chest or stomach, can help soothe these areas.
💡Additional tools; to explore include practices like yoga, tai chi, or breathwork, which combine movement and mindfulness. Also, tools like foam rollers or massage balls to release deep-seated tension.
(You can also go the more relaxing, gentle route (my kind of route!) and get a professional massage or spend time in a sauna or hot tub - even your bathtub! )
🟢 Find Comfort and Reassurance Through Spiritual Connection
For many, spirituality offers a comforting way to engage with their inner child. Inviting God or a higher power into the process can provide reassurance and a sense of divine love.
🙏 Talk to God Like a Parent: Share your inner child’s fears and needs with God in a heartfelt, conversational way.
🙏 Scriptural Affirmations: Use affirmations like, “I am fearfully and wonderfully made” (Psalm 139:14), or “Even to your old age and gray hairs I am He who will sustain you” (Isaiah 46:4). These can remind your inner child of their inherent worth.
🙏 Prayer of Reparenting: Imagine God as the perfect parent, holding your inner child and saying, “You are precious to Me. I’ve always been with you, and I always will be.”
💡 Additional tools; like creating a prayer or meditation space where you feel safe and grounded, or listening to hymns or spiritual music that soothes and uplifts your spirit.
Spending time quality in the presence of God can nourish our soul and heart filling us up with someone we cannot find in the world or in culture.
🟢 Rediscover Joy and Playfulness
Healing isn’t just about addressing pain; it’s also about rekindling joy and wonder. Reconnecting with childhood passions can help you rediscover your authentic self.
🤸 Reflect on Childhood Activities: Ask yourself, “What did I love doing as a child? What made me lose track of time?” Whether it was painting, building forts, or collecting rocks, revisit those memories.
🤸 Recreate Childhood Experiences: Set aside time to engage in these activities again. For example, if you loved baking cookies, make a batch and savor the process.
🤸 Play Without Purpose: Engage in unstructured play, such as doodling, skipping rocks, or coloring. The goal is to enjoy the experience without focusing on outcomes.
💡Additional tools; such as keeping a list of “play ideas” handy for moments when you feel disconnected or inviting friends or loved ones to join you in these activities for added connection.
🟢 Feel Safe and Seen by Connecting With Your Inner Child
Reconnecting with your inner child is about tuning into the younger version of yourself to understand their feelings, needs, and experiences. This can create a sense of safety and healing…
💓 Visualization: Imagine your inner child at a specific age. Picture them in a safe, comforting place. Ask how they feel or what they need from you. Visualize giving them a hug, holding their hand, or simply sitting with them.
💓Journaling: Write a letter to your inner child or let them write to you, allow space to listen and try to be reassuring and comforting.
💓 Daily Check-Ins: Ask yourself, “What would my inner child need to feel safe and loved today?” These small moments of self-compassion can create lasting shifts.
💡 Additional tools; such as using a photograph of yourself as a child as a visual aid to strengthen your connection or creating a “safe space” in your mind where you and your inner child can meet whenever needed.
Found this helpful? 📌 Pin it to your ‘Healing’ board and come back whenever you need.
You might be thinking: “Why should I focus on my inner child when I’ve already moved on? Isn’t it better to focus on the future?”
It’s natural to want to move forward.
But your inner child isn’t just “past you”—it’s a part of you influencing how you think, feel, and react today.
Ignoring these parts is like building a house on an unstable foundation.
Inner child work strengthens that foundation, helping you:
🪽Break free from repeating patterns.
🪽Regulate your nervous system.
🪽Build healthier relationships.
What's Possible When You Start Addressing Your Inner Child…
🦋 Break free from self-sabotaging cycles.
🦋 Experience greater emotional regulation and clarity.
🦋 Reconnect with your authentic self and rediscover joy.
🦋 Build a stronger sense of inner peace and confidence.
Ready to Begin?
Inner child work doesn’t have to be scary. Let’s go back together. In our sessions, I’ll guide you through personalized practices, including visualization, somatic techniques, and spiritual connection, to help you heal safely and effectively.
Book a session with me today—the journey to your freedom and joy starts here.🦋♥️
